Monday, October 31, 2011


It is funny how perspective changes depending on where you are in your life.  If you had told me two years ago that I would be in a committed relationship I would have probably just scowled at you.  Mainly because I was still a bit jaded on the whole relationship thing.  

I know, that some of you have only seen me as I am right now. You see me as a person that is happy to see you, and generally in a good mood most of the time.  However, this is a complete 180 from where I was not too long ago.

I won't go into the details, because the people that knew me back then know what I went through to get that way.  The simple story is that I was married, she was a terrible wife (not to say I was a great husband or anything.  I am not afraid to admit that), who was emotionally distant.  Some have even said, though I loathe to use the word because of the connotations, that she was emotionally abusive.  Honestly, I think most of it came from her upbringing and the fact that she carried a mindset that was both stubborn, and in many ways ignorant.

The main issue was, though, that she jaded me to women.  She also made it hard to be a happy person after all was said and done.  Combine the fact that she cheated on, and then left me, about a month before my mom died of cancer... I was not in a good place.

Of course because of this, and because I wanted a change of jobs, I went in and out of jobs for a while.  It is not something I am proud of now, but for the longest time I was basically a boil on the ass of society.

I am not sure to this day what made me suddenly get better.  Perhaps it was working toward the goal of a degree, or perhaps it was because I was working in jobs that I liked, but I started to become a more likable person again. People even commented that I seemed happier.

Funny thing, though, I still did not think that I was ready when I decided to sign on to Match.  The original plan was to go on a few dates, get used to the idea of dating again, and then find someone to settle down with.

And wouldn't you know it, the world decided that what I had planned had nothing to do with it.  I met a great girl and we hit it off.  We were great for each other.  The funny thing is that when the first date ended, neither of us wanted it to.  We were so hooked we met up for lunch the next day. This lead to an interesting phone call when my friends called to see how the date went and I had to tell them I would call back later, since we were at lunch.  

So there I was.  New perspective even though I had just had one that was contrary to this one.  It took me reflecting on it to even realize how quickly that perspective changed. 

And to be honest.

I would have it no other way.


  1. Sometimes it takes being a boil on the ass of society to find yourself. Good for you for finding happy!

  2. My husband was much the same way when we started dating. One day he was a serial womanizer, jaded to the concept of love, and as his best friend put it, the president of the He-Man Woman Haters Club. Then in one night it all changed and he did everything he could to be near me, and it never changed.

    Change is very funny like that. It sometimes is drawn out and subtle, and sometimes hits you like a run away bus in a Keanu Reeves movie.